We're going to unschool the kids. For those of you unfamiliar with this, lemme break it down for you briefly. Homeschooling is curriculum based: you get an approved curriculum from an accredited institution and the kids complete it at their own pace. Unschooling is different. Unschooling is driven by each individual child's passions and learning style and doesn't follow a curriculum. It presupposes that children are naturally curious and will want to learn things as they navigate through life. Unschooling requires a lot of trust and bravery (like everything else in parenting). I doubt I will feel super secure about this decision most days, but I know it's the right thing to do because it hasn't left my brain for 2 years. Why, you might ask, am I doing this? I can tell you it most certainly has nothing to do with wanting to control my children and their knowledge. It's actually the opposite.
1. The kids asked me to do it after going on adventures with me the same week as their 8-day-long standardized testing... two weeks of testing, preceded by weeks of preparation as well.
2. I feel like it's the right thing to do. I'm not scared they won't learn. I am not scared they'll be unable to work in the real world with deadlines and other people. I'm not scared they will learn less than their peers. I'm not scared they will be inadequate because we're choosing a different path.
3. I want the freedom to choose where to take my kids, what to show them, and when to go. We want to travel when it's cheap and less crowded. I want freedom to explore and learn, and to spend time together whenever. FREEDOM and family time!
4. I think holistic approaches to learning are far more valuable than compartmentalized subject learning. There are no connections being made about the practicality of what they're learning and the constraints and controls placed on teachers is absurd. Teaching a child to find slope for math means nothing, but using the slope equation to compare data usage rates of different apps makes a real-world connection. Learning about every aspect of a decade all over the globe (discovery, culture, food, travel, inventions, clothing, art, wars, philosophy, literature) gives you a broad picture of the world and its direction in much more than just a historical context... you get a global evolutionary look at history and see the interconnection of ideas.
5. I want the kids to have TIME with their thoughts. We give them a million bits of information and never let them apply it to their lives. What's the point? When I think back to my time in school I literally remember nothing but stress and interactions with friends. I recall nothing about most of the classes. I want them to be allowed to think critically, answer their own questions, find questions that matter to them. So much of school is denying children the opportunity to be curious on their own. So much of our lives are run by someone else's perception of how we should spend our time. Well we only have one life to live, and it's not for anyone but ourselves.
6. I want them to be able to study 12th grade math and 1st grade reading if that's where their abilities lie. Go ahead and study quantum mechanics while reading Dr. Seuss! I want them to read things they actually care about, even if it's only subtitles on Naruto. I want them to be allowed to explore passions like baking, cooking, art, writing, or soccer without any limits but materials... and then we can go shopping. I want them to be able to be obsessed about something until they are satiated with their knowledge and then move on to something else. I want to tell them they CAN, and then let them actually try.
7. How we see the world and what we deem important must be reflected in our actions. Traditional schooling isn't meeting our family goals in that regard. I don't think we should be bound to the expectations and wants of others before our own needs (mental health matters especially). Being kind and compassionate to all people is important to us. Respecting others is important regardless of age, and school doesn't seem to agree that kids deserve respect or consideration. Children are routinely placed outside of dialogues and not given any control over their lives, even in high school. We believe open and honest answers to "why not" should be a part of every parent's conversation with their kids. We ask ourselves our true reasons are for saying "you can't" so that our own intentions are clear; something we figured out back in 2013 and never went back. The more we try to control the kids, the more they lie or feel incapable, and we definitely do not want that! There's a difference between guidelines and fences. Children may not be capable of making all their decisions, but how will they ever become capable if we never let them try? Yes, they will fail. Yes, they will learn from failure. Kids are so much more capable than our society believes.
8. We want to empower our children, and this is how we feel we can best accomplish that. I'm not saying this is the right move for everyone or that public school is awful. Our school system is quite good actually, and it's the main reason we moved to this county. We have laid out our personal parenting goals and they just don't line up is all. I think there are as many "right" ways to parent as there are parents. There is not ONE answer that fits everyone, and it's up to us to support each other while we try to figure it all out. We believe this is our right answer... for now. It could change, and that's what I want most, the ability to change our minds and try different things. I'm just thankful we even have the option to do this.
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